We say, “God I’m yours. You have my life, my heart, my time and my money. You are my everything.”
Then something happens. Something comes up. Hours get cut, your expenses are bigger than your pay cheque and everything around you is collapsing.
My general reaction is something like this: “Woah God. Whats up? I gave you everything and this is what happens?!” Frustration pours in and I can feel my heart hardening in bitterness. This is the point where its easy to become overwhelmed. You want to blame God, blame everything. At this point I think he’s just testing, nudging and saying, “Do I really have your time, your money, your trust?”
God doesn’t just want our words of surrender. He wants us to go beyond words. In a way, prove what we say. Prove that we mean that he’s our everything and sometimes the only way we can prove that is when we’re down and out and everything is out of our control. To choose to cling to his hand and not to our comfortable surroundings.
I’ve been learning how to give things over. I like control. Then I come to a point where its out of my control and I have two options: to wallow or to give it all over to God.
Wallowing is always more attractive.
But there s nothing more satisfying than letting it all float away, letting the misery turn into calm and know that He’s got my back in all this.
Its too bad it takes desperation to get me to give myself over to God, but I love the way he responds. With arms wide open, I can feel his embrace. This is where we all belong.