In the latest chapter, Francis talks about the love of God and how we typically view God. We have this box that we put God in when we view him. Each one of us has some type of vision of how God is that’s messed up and most of the time, it’s because of our own insecurities that we have in ourselves or the relationship we have with other people. Especially when it comes to people of authority.
I view God as a Dad. I’ve always had a healthy relationship with my dad. He’s always been there for me through everything, providing encouragement, assurance…really anything I needed. If there was a need in my life I know my dad would do anything he could to help me. He’s provided me a healthy view of a father. No, he’s not perfect but in my eyes, he’s everything a dad should ever be. But there’s this level of fear in my relationship with my dad. It’s not something he has caused, but rather something I have developed. There’s no way I could bring up in any form of how I’ve messed up in life to my dad. Although he knows I’m not perfect, I’d much rather hide and not say anything. My fear is that he’ll be disappointed and even though that won’t change our relationship, the last thing I want ever is to disappoint my dad. (Even though he ALWAYS knew when I was hiding something or something was up…)
That’s exactly how I am with God. As soon as I mess up, my tendency is to hide and ignore his probing for me to give it up and just talk to him. I don’t want to disappoint God. Which is stupid in a way because first off, good luck hiding stuff from God. Secondly, God’s love is unable to grasp! There’s nothing we can do to separate us from it. Nothing. Even if we push it away with everything in us, he’s still there with his overwhelming love.
And it blows my mind every time I open myself up and realize how much he just wants to love me…