Keeping a Spiritual Appetite

If there’s one thing that has always been a trial for me, it’s keeping my relationship with God on track. I tend to go through phases of extreme hunger for God then I’ll get to a place where I couldn’t care less if I include Him in my life.

My bipolar desire for God get’s on my nerves. Yet I am completely aware that I’m the one who controls my intake. His presence is there. He is there waiting and longing for me to take time and notice Him. He’s waiting for me to stop my pouting about how I don’t feel Him and start noticing how He’s right there. He doesn’t care how much of an idiot I’ve been. He just wants me.

Realizing that God desires us as a lover desires that one particular other is a crazy thought. He’s a God of desire and passion. All of it directed towards us, the unfaithful whores who just drop Him at a whim and chase after the next trill.

Another thing that is insane to grasp is that God’s love doesn’t die. It doesn’t fade away. It’s not like the fickle marriages that we see. Our love may fade, but God’s doesn’t.

That is unfathomable.

Picture how intense it would be if we were like that towards God.

Unfortunately, we are human. Therefore we have the tendancy to get completely distracted or loose our appetite completely.

I was contemplating this whole keeping an appetite for God and wanting Him even when we’re not “hungry” thought. In reality when we’re not hungry, we don’t refuse to not eat ever. Food’s our lifesource. Not eating will eventually cause you to die.

What do you do?

You nibble.

We take in smaller portions even though we don’t feel like we want it, because we know that doing so is what is best for us.

Round up point: Even when we don’t feel God or are even hungry for God…nibble!

Sit and listen. Read. Scream. Shout. Dance. Sing.

Find the best way for you to nibble on God’s presence so your appetite for Him increases.

Eventually, you’re bound to be ready to dive in full heartedly. Sometimes it just takes a while for our stomachs to grow . . .

When The Heart Hungers

1 Chronicles 22:19 – Now set your mind and heart to seek the LORD your God. Arise and build the sanctuary of the LORD God, so that the ark of the covenant of the LORD and the holy vessels [furnishings] of God may be brought into a house built for the name of the LORD.

Stir up a hunger for you, Lord, that is almost irritating.

Lately I’ve known what it is to be obsessive about a person. The emotion is consuming and almost debilitating at times. I can’t take my mind off of her. Anything I want, anything I desire ties back to her. She has a place in my life that no other interest or anxiety can penetrate. So in this way, my mind and heart are “set” on her. I’m “building” a place in my life for her, a place that I’m “furnishing” with thoughts, feelings and experiences with her.

Here in First Chronicles, David is talking about seeking the Lord by building an actual building. But it symbolizes how we may approach the Lord in a relationship as well. I know that right now, my infatuation is particularly intense, although I pray it will never really die away, as naive as that may be.

Imagine this sort of infatuation for the Lord. Imagine that no other interest or anxiety can penetrate the place He has in your life. Imagine furnishing that place with feeling and experience that only you and the Lord have together. This is what He wants, it’s what He created us for.

If the heart could hunger, this is what it would look like.

Naturally, if you want to stay hungry, you don’t starve yourself, you actually eat more. Between your big meals you eat smaller portions. Your stomach gets used to the consistency and complains when it is not fed enough. Although this can be unhealthy without proper levels of exercise and activity. It’s the same spiritually. The more we feed on the Lord; soak in His presence, worship, pray, read scripture, talk to Him, literally walk with Him, have coffee with Him, paint, dance, or write with Him; the more we become hungry for Jesus. And it only stays healthy as long as we “exercise” our faith, in sharing, in loving, in trusting, and in obeying Him.

The seasons of hunger change as well. In one season, it’s all scripture study and prayer, in another, the emphasis is more on time spent with the Spirit, just relating to Him.

There are times when life distracts our attention, and our mind and heart become occupied by other things. In these times, it is simple enough to ask for hunger. So I’ll say it again, a little differently this time.

Stir up an obsession for you, Lord, that is nearly debilitating.